I wonder from time to time if I'm doing everything possible to prepare them for life and then moments like the one I'm going to share happen that make me so proud of the young adults they are growing into.
Our oldest daughter, Hannah, mentioned to me in passing that she was having trouble with her snapchat app on her tablet. It wasn't allowing her to message her friends. I suggested that she try deleting it and download it again. I went about my laundry and didn't think much of it for a day or two. When the thought crossed my mind a few days later I inquired if her app was now working, to which she responded that deleting it didn't work so she had contacted customer support to find out how to fix the issue and was told that they had been working to address the concern. This amused me and made me so proud. She didn't come to us to fix her problem, she didn't even ask how she should go about contacting customer support and what she should say. Rather than waiting for someone else to tell her what to do, this self-sufficient 14 year old solved her own problem. She still comes to us for advice but she attempts to figure out her problems before coming to us to tell her what to do. Of course I immediately texted her dad to tell him what she had done. I was amazed but not completely surprised. We've been teaching her to figure out her own problems for awhile now. As of this year she is in 9th grade and teaching herself algebra, world history, biology, grammar and Italian. She opens her school books and learns the material, if she has any problems or is confused about what she is learning she has several supplemental books to help reinforce what she is learning. If she still can't figure out what the answer is she is allowed to open the answer key to see where she went wrong (as long as she's not working on a test) and if after she looks at the answer and is still confused as to how the answer is figured she comes to me for guidance. The final step is rarely ever needed. Usually she comes to me and says that she was struggling but after looking the steps up in several supplements she was able to figure it out. Once a week I inquire about what she is learning and assist in administrating tests. I didn't realize when I started having her learn her schoolwork in this manner that it would help her to become more confident about solving her own "real life" problems. Obviously I can't handle it the same way with my littles. Being in 1st and 2nd grades my little ones need me to teach them everything but I can help them to become self-sufficient in other ways. For instance when we go to the library and they are looking for a particular book I show them how to look it up and find it own their own, if they still have a problem I walk with them to the librarian's desk and teach them how to ask her the question themselves. I remember Brody being 4 years old and wanting to get a Max and Ruby book. I asked him who wrote Max and Ruby, to which he thought about it and responded "Rosemary Wells". I then asked what letter Wells started with and told him to look for the "W" section. It surely would've been easier and quicker to have just went to the section and found the book for him but that wouldn't have helped him learn to do it for himself. Now that he's 6 he finds his own books at the library and comes to me only when he can't find what he's looking for. Maria Montessori said "Never help a child with a task that he can himself succeed." Teaching my kids to do things for themselves is the tool to instilling confidence and self-sufficiency and as they grow I'm seeing that the results are worth the time and labor.
Over the past seven years we've encountered many different praises and negativity from people concerning our decision to homeschool. A very common misconception we hear quite often is that our children will be socially inept and unable to interact in the "real world". I marvel at the boldness of strangers. When we began our homeschooling journey we had first and third graders and two babies. At that time how they would handle social situations in college or in the workforce truly was the furthest thing from our minds. Now with two teens in the house I'd be lying if I said the thought never crossed my mind. Of course I want my children to be able to interact in society, within reason of course. I don't want my children to become social cookie cutters, following the crowd, submitting to the "norm". My chief desire is to raise confident, self-sufficient children who are independent thinkers and do not wait for someone to tell them what to do but rather take charge and above all else live their lives according to the will of God. Although it wasn't in the forefront of my mind when they were little, I think the things we have done all along have been working towards this goal. After all it's not something that is achieved overnight.
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About MeI'm Becca, a former chocolate junkie, herbal enthusiast, curriculum writer, homeschool mom to four active kids, wife to my jack of all trades hubby, blessed child of God. Archives
November 2018
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